Love of my life- girls, beer and travel

There is something Titten love.

Firstly his future children, secondly beer, girls and travel.

Picture one from a beer tower in Bangkok. Second and third from a bar with karaoke and dance in Phenom Phen.I want one of those beer jugs.

The Cambodian, Angkor beer is sofar the best Titten have had in Asia

Super pussy and a pingpong ball

Super pussy, pussy collections lights in bright marketing colours aginst you. We are in the Patong area in Bangkok, Asias most famouse red light district.

"Girls"
"Sex"
"happy hour"
"just 1500 hundred bath" (50 US$)
"Massage"
"Sex show"
"Pingpong show"

All the crazy salesmen are all over you. The most famous show though are suppose to be the pingpong. From friends beeing in the city said this would be an interesting experice, so as stupid as we was we said yes to one of the men. Culture we think to ourself. He takes us up dark stars, inside it is beeing played bad music, and a guy is talking about pingpong in thai. On a stage in the middle a lot of girls, not too pretty and not all of them girs eigther, dances topless. One of them must be grandmother, and thats what they call here to, damn discusting. The girls mostly the grandmother do things with their private parts thats will hunt my dreams for too long. How could we be so stupid. We mange almost 30 minutes. Unfortunatly is Titten probably something of the prettiest that has ever visited this disgsting place so he gets extra popular. We are so happy when we leave the place.

Girls did you know that if you practise (please do not) you can shoot pingpong balls pretty far with your privates, open a beer bottle (this one I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND), blow a horn and put a break a egg and put in a cup. It is actually also possible to write "Welcome to thailand" prettier than Titten ever can dream of doing with his ugly handwriting.

Next time you have birthday and you need to blow out candels you should maybe try to do it in a new and more creative way. Good luck..........

1995: Tittens mum to titten "Go to Calcutta"

Norwegian expression "go to calcutta" that means go far far away to someone when you are a little angry. My mother told me this ones when I was little, and I said I would.

13 years later: Took some time, but I kept my promise to my mother.

Calcutta is by the way a pretty nice city, that we liked more than Agra, jaitpur and Delhi. People not so rude and more friendly. Prbably becaus enot too many tourist visit this city close to the Bangladesh border. Not too much to do there though, with lot of bad msic everywhere.

The sad thing in Calcutta is all the homeless, never seen so many people sleep on the street anywhere before in my life, with the biggest rats in the world running around them. A lot of life in the middle of the night too, people doing some work too, make sense since the heat kills you in day time.

Next time you wonder about giving a begger some money in Karl Johan you should rather send them to someone in Calcutta!!

photos will come later

They do exsist- the friendly indian people

From the blog it is easy to see that I do not like most indians, but of course there are many nice ones too. Most of the ones you meet outside India for example and some in India too. Little bit like Norwegians, the ones you meet outside Norway are normally nicer than the ones you meet in Norway.

If you ever go to India, and you want to meet nice people you should get out from the big cities and stop in small villages. We stopped in a couple in "the heart of India" Radjikistahn, and there people where much more friendely, and I am not sure if they had seen many white people before, so Titten ended up to be a celebrity. Pictures will be uploaded later!!!

A camel, a bad camel

If you want to do something that hurt in the crouch, ride a camel. DAMN!

Jaitpur- The caste

City in ndia, two and a half million. Many people. Many cities in India. Here we visited a castle and went to Indian dance. Photos from the castle.

Taj Mahal

When I die, I also want to be burried in a house like this. Taj Mahal is by the way one of the new seven wonders. Now I have been to three Christ in Rio, Macchu Picchu and now Taj Mahal. Petra, pyramid in mexico, the wall and the Coloseeum is still to see.

1. Photo one, me at Taj
2. Photo two, Me at Taj
3. Photo three, me at taj playing an Indian.

Logisitics

Uf you think a truck in your country is full, you have not been to India. You still have a lot to learn about taking advantage of the space.

Tiger Safari again

and this time did I see the tiger. Really, a tiger safari with a tiger, actually three!!!! The WORLDST PRETTIEST ANIMAL, in the worldst most disgusting country India. A country that show very well that the humans actually are animals, just like the tiger. Just a little bit more evil, ugly and disgusting.

Instructions for handling India

First ten rules

1. Not under any circumstances smile
2. Send many nasty looks.
3. Always ask for money, even for the smallest thing.
4. Do not trust anybody
5. Do not care about sick people, just yourself.
6. Choose to get 10 rupees today instead of 100 in a week.
7. Today matters, tomorrow and you we do not give a fuck about.
8. Faith means everyhing
9. The cow is holly
10. Get a beer belly or a lot of fat.

Guide for a indian on the night train

1.Drag up all the slime you manage
2.Spit on the floor, spit every where
3. Arrive on the train in the middle of the night noisly when the rest of the train try to sleep.
4. Invite the whole family
5. Start to eat food that smells worst than the toilet
6. Talk loadly
7. Walk a lot around
8. Put the food next to someone who is sick and try's to sleep.
9 Slurp like you have never slurped before.
10. Go to the toilet, shit on the floor. Make your ass clean with your left hand. You did not bring soap.
11. Go back to the dinner party and slurp and eat more with your right hand.
12. Damn you forgot and used your left.
13. Put the baggage under the seat with as much noice as possible at the same time as half of your fat (all indians have a ton of fat, why do you think it is named butter chicken, butter masala etc)falls ove rin the bed and almost kills the food poisoned poor Norwegian guy there.
14. Lift your hand so it is possible to smell that you did not shower for at least ten days.
15. Climb up in the bed on top of the Norwegian touching him with your feet and 150 kilos body.
16 Slurp and get some slime out, and talk loadly to the rest of the family
17. Spit it out
18. Make sure everybody notice
19. You manage to sleep imidiatly even though the Norwegian bastard have tried for a long time without managing
20. After spicy food, you start to fart disgusting smelly farts.
21. At the same time you snore, everybody around you except for the Norwegian too.
22. You wake up fast hearing a Norwegian guy talking Norwegian and some english to himself. it does not sound like he is saying nice things about your important, big and nice country

.....you wonder why..........

Holly Cow!

" Holly cow" Titten said entusiastic.
"No" the guide said, "black cows are not holly"

Titten looked forward to see a holly cow in India. Why they are holly has know one he has asked the answer to yet. Relegion people say. Weird thing religion.

Most people think that all cows in India are holly, at least since they do not sell any beef in any restaurants here, not pork eigther. Sad, can not live here for long then. Mc Donalds in India must be the most local fitted in the whole world. Interesting for an international mangement ex student to see.

Bac to the holly cow, all of them are not holly, for the first they need to be white. Discrimination you say. I agree too. But it does not stop there, small cows are not holly eigther. poor of them you say, but at lest they donot get eaten in India. But still let us all say like marting Luther King

" I have a dream, that one day can all cows be holly, both black and white, small and big, walking together on the street together as holly animals"

Suddenly we saw a whith and big cow though.It was a cow. A holly cow. Wonde rif it know it itself, thats it holly you know!!!!!

Election- From Nepal to India

Vinh and Titten on the plane towards the crazy country India.


Election, went smooth, just one dead (even though that would have been the news of the year in Norway, with the title, for example "The end of democracy").

Said good bye to all my friends and left on the plane together with my highschool friend Vinh on friday. The day after the election. Seems like it willbe red in Nepal now. Sad, the country deserve so much more!

India first impressions> More siviliced than Nepal, but less charming. Where did all the pretty girls go. People here just think about one thing, the money in you pocket. The word I dont like but need to use most here is "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". We miss Nepal a little bit.

One of many dalbats

I am sitting on the beautiful terrace at my work, looking towards the Himalayas. The fog made of pollution blocks the view. Been here six weeks and still not seen them clearly. I am eating lunch, the daily dalbat. Dal is a kind of soup and bat is rice. 27 out of 29 million Nepali eat this everyday. For lunch, dinner and for party. In addition can you get vegetables and if you are really lucky some meat

I look at my Nepali friends eating more rice than I thought were possible. I mix some dal in the bat, and suddenly I have some dalbat. They smile and laugh, and make a joke, where the only word I understand is Viagra. I laugh too, of feeling lost.

A bomb, a black chilli reaches my mouth, and I am so stupid that I drink some water. The Nepali workers smile and laugh of me while my face turns red. They try to teach me some Nepali and I teach them one Norwegian word “deilig”, and wonder if the expatriates ever will hear it in action from one of the female workers. I am doubtful!

So much potential in this beautiful country and its great people I think to myself while looking outward a city that has exploded in population growth the last years. The Nepali people just need to be a little bit more organised! Or maybe it is not just a just!

How will it be here in 2050, will the country manage to change to the better? Will Nepal have started a democratic path and an economical and socially boom like China in the seventies? I am doubtful, but I hope so strongly that I somewhat believe in a better future, just like the people, because I like it here in the country of charm and chaos mixed together in a wonderful cocktail.

I have eaten up the dal and the vegetables, but some rice and spicy stuff is still on the plate. After six weeks in Nepal have I still not learned how to eat bat like a Nepali, maybe next time.

I wish the Nepali people all the best!

Living Godess

Yesterday did Titten mean the Living Godess. She lives in Patan. She is 12 years old, not allowed to talk to strangers, and no allowed to leave the house except in special occations.

On the photo does she seem a bit sceptical when the tall and big Titten put his head forward. Titten is not completly sure about what to do, and it somehow seem that she is not eigther. She she probably not used to see soemthing as extraordinary as Titten.

Poverty

The country want change, it is not weird. This photo of a small dirty poor boy behind tthe man playing with a stick is a good illustration

Baktapur

Under one hour from Kathmandu can you find Neapl second largest city baktapur. A really old town with many temples and view towards the Himalayas. The good thing is that it is almost no cars there that makes it really interesting. Like in the rest of Nepal the pretty children and a bunch of gorgeous girls popup every where.

Just two days left in Nepal now, and one of them is the big election day. You can feel the city is getting more tense, and communistic and maoistic flags everywhere, and too many corrupted police and military.

Horn and drive (tut og kjør)

Chitwan- Tiger safari without any tigers

Titten on Safari in nepal
Rhino and a baby rhino, so cute. Three generations on an elephant, my grandmother, my mother and me. Modern transportation, and in Nepal is it actually used, not just for tourists.
The Sunrise

Two weeks ago Titten went to Chitwan with his mother and grandmother that were visiting. Chitwan is natural heritag park in nepal. The three genration team lived at tiger lounge. After seeing most animals on safari in kenya, the only thing missing for the team was the tiger, as most people know doesnt exist in africa but in Chitwan they exist. From my point of view is the tiger the most beautiful animal of them all. The team went first out on a jeep safari, where they didnt see anything. Even though the guide ment the truck were really close, so they had to sit still for an hour or so. The next day on an elephant, five in the morning. A great way to expirence the nature, but the didnt see any tigers, but some rhinos, other funny animals and a beautiful sunset, that made it worth it all.

Beautiful Patan

Titten eating lunch with a terrible view over Patan, temples, Kathmandu and mountains

Religiouse hindu woman
Religiouse ritual
Holy water
Ritual
Just twenty minutes away from Kathmandu, can you find another poor but beautiful city, Patan; with a beautiful tempel square (photo)to the right and interesting walking streets, where you see more culture and poverty in ten seconds than I see in a whole year in Norway. Titten found a guide and paid him 200 for two hours and gave some tip, all together less than 4 US D. That is alot in the city where most people live for less than two everyday.